[Violent J] 
Straight out of Warren, bitch you a joke 
Sucking so much dick your fucking lips smoke 
With your silly ass pretty boy rap 
Be muggin and thuggin sittin on Dre's lap. 

[Shaggy 2 Dope] 
Pull a gat on my thug, no bullets or nothing, 
you shaking, stumbling, 
nervous, fumbling, 
scared to death, screamin for help, 
So damn shook you almost shot yourself. 

[J] 
Little radio thug with your preppy smile, 
Got everybody hoppin outta 35 miles, 
tellin us we fake Little faggot (?), 
I'ma knock your teeth out the back of your neck. 

[Shaggy (Violent J)]
You might have little girls cryin and shit, 
But the detroit thugs aint buying your shit. 
(Run your ass back to Dr Dre and open your butt) 
Little groupie ass boy get fucked! 

[Chorus - J]
Dumbass (Dumbass), 
Bitchass (Bitchass), 
Weakass (Weakass), 
BEEEAAAAAATCH! 
Eminem ain't nothing but a bitch (bitch) 
Eminem ain't nothing but a bitch (bitch) 
Weakass (Markass), 
Punkass (Punkass), 
Bitchass (Bitchass), 
BEEEAAAAAATCH! 
Eminem ain't nothing but a bitch (bitch) 
Sissy ass radio bitch (bitch) 

[J] 
Wait a minute don't run, what's up with that? 
I'm just trying to give you this 300 bucks back, 
That you gave to Twiztid so you could open up their show 
You little pussy ass hoe! 

[Shaggy] 
Look at us dog who put us on the map? 
3 plat, 2 gold, and we still like that, 
We did it alone without a D.R.E 
But he owns and knows your butt like a pussy. 

[J] 
Husband!, tell me where she at, 
Everybody be fucking that bitch you don't see that? 
I know 3 people she fucked on you, 
Up at Hotrocks, she be fucking bitches too! 

[Shaggy] 
You told the world you gonna kill the slut, 
Then you on TV licking her butt, 
Be careful your probly gonna taste my nut, 
Cause even I be fucking that bitch raw... like WHAT! 

[Chorus]

[J (Monoxide Child) {Eminem Impersonation}]

(I remember your ass, St. Andrews Hall), 
Handing out your flyers {Come one come all, 
come to my show}, I looked at it, WHAT? 
Right there: Insane Clown Posse Might Show Up. 

[Shaggy] 
What the fuck kind of rapper could be that lame? 
Only way you draw people is to use our name? 
I could have just fucked you up right there, 
but I let it pass,I felt bad for ya bitch ass! 

[J] 
Everytime I met you your SUCKIN DICK, 
Now your on the pop charts SUCKIN DICK, 
You'll be SUCKIN DICK for eternity, 
Look at your mouth, it look like a pussy! 

[Shaggy (J)]
I know that Slim Anus got to you, 
(Yeah only because it was so damn true), 
I think of your daughter, it makes me sad, 
She got a whore for a mama... and a bitch ass DAD! 

[Chorus w/ Variations]

Bitch (BITCH!) 
Bitch (BITCH!) 
Bitch (BITCH!) 
Bitch (BITCH!) 
Eminem ain't nothing but a bitch (BITCH!) 
Mainstream pretty boy beeeeeeeeaaaaatch (BITCH!) 

[Fades w/ Violent J speaking] 
Sucka ass mother fucka, 
Hitler ass haircut, 
Bitchass mother fucking 
Boyband ass Top 40 Casey Casem 
Carson Daly dick suckin mutha fucka

Hello all, please don't hang me if i ask what is this crazy myspace thing about? Is anyone else mystified? Or is this like some conspiracy controlling the minds of today's youth? Who knows? Maybe this post will never be published, my blog will disappear, and so will I. BUT I maintain that I am still cool and alternative, because I have a blog, not a myspace, and because I had it BEFORE myspace was so cool, AND because I don't post half naked photos of myself on said blog. This said, blogging is still a bit sad and nerdy. But I am at least blogging in order to not make good use of my uni time, as always. Which does not make me cool, just a uni student!
Feeling really philosophical today, so have to ask the question of what the fuck is going on? You know that feeling when life completely overwhelms you and you think the tiniest thing can tip you over the edge? ("No..." I hear you say...) Well *I* know what I'm talking about. I swear, I started hearing voices. Usually they are of the "TEGAN" persuasion, but that actually might be people yelling my name. Actually they probably are, come to think of it, because usually they are followed by a much louder "TEGAN" which is most definitely not in my head. One of the mental health risks of living in a 3 story house I suppose...(It's a SEMI guys, don't get over-excited thinking I have a pool and BMW to go with the ginormous house.) Anyway life is fine apart from my craziness, I guess that's relatively normal, and even if it's not, being a half orphan makes people cut you a lot more slack. So that's ok. :)
Listening to Snow Patrol's new album today (Eyes Open), it's fantastic.

So many assignments! So much free time! Here are my new favourite links:

Go Fug Yourself- Possibly THE best site dedicated to flaming the fashion faux pas of the rich, famous and stupid. And some of the best and most hilarious blogging I have EVER seen at Ask Aunt Fugly.

New Jack Handey! Hoorah! Jack Handey, for those of you who live under a rock, is this philosopher... guy. Example of these latest ramblings:

"You go skipping and prancing through life, skipping through a field of dandelions. But what you don't see is that on each dandelion is a bee, and on each bee is an ant, and the ant is biting the bee and the bee is biting the flower, and if that shocks you then I'm sorry."

Perry Bible Fellowship:

The second two links are courtesy of Joel. The first link should be credited to Coney. The work put into gathering and linking said sites should be credited to me. :)

Music updates:

Oh my goodness gracious me it has been way too long.

Saw Kisschasey at my local (The Fishos), a few months ago (I know I know, so long ago but I thought it was worth a mention at least). Quality show! Some nice instrumental variations away from the album. Also a lovely aspect of "audience participation"- some members of the audience selected to dance on stage, and a skulling competition took place mid-gig between a lovely looking lass and a band member. To anyone who saw the girl who stayed on stage to dance after the other gig-goers were asked to leave, that was me. To set the record straight, the stage manager asked me to stay on. And I wasn't (contrary to popular belief) (very) drunk. The gig felt really young and rocky and it felt like the boys were just having an awesome time. To the music, i'd rate it "good". The music itself was really anything particularly special, but it did have a "make-me-want-to-dance-factor" of 9 out of 10 :). The band members were lovely, especially the lead singer (for the life of me I can't remember his name!) who was gracious enough to have a chat after the show. The drummer, however, does make this particular music lover wonder just how hygenic it is to be in a pub minus a shirt. Each to his own I suppose, and he did have a dreamy body!

Recently tagged along to see The Fray at the Gaelic Club in Surrey Hills, supported by the lovely and funny Kate Miller-Heidke. The Fray is a US band who had a single showcase here in Sydney, their album How To Save A Life is fast becoming one of my personal favourites so I may be slightly biased. The boys were good; entertaining with a pretty smooth sound. The songs weren't tampered with besides the occasional guitar riff. The whole gig had a really professional feel, and I was slightly disappointed at the lack of sexy/wanky guitar riffs and the soberness of the band, in the way that they seemed to be lacking any kind of high. However, the boys were probably fairly jetlagged so I suppose we can forgive them for this. This is one of the best albums I've heard in a while. It's a really wide range of songs which are pretty simply structured, and theres a really great range of emotion with well written lyrics which is a rare and un-wanky thing in this day and age. There are also a few good "dance-naked-in-your-bedroom-alone songs". The Fray also have my respect for covering You Got A Friend In Me at the gig. Remember that song from Toy Story? You know what I'm talking about.

On to John Mayer's new album Continuum. This album is awesome! I Love this album. Yes, with a capital L. It has such a cool, jazzy, sexy, Eric Clapton-y feel. John actually thanked Eric Clapton in his credits for letting him "steal" his stuff. There's a lot more depth in this album than in his previous ones (Room For Squares and Heavier Things.) Bold As Love is covered really well, although nothing tops the original (dir!). This album has been discussed for a while now and I think will turn out to be Mayer's legacy to the music world (Ben Harper plays guitar on one track!). I'm going to see the John Mayer Showcase at the Enmore Theatre in November (thanks to Spaz and Cath) so will update you then chickens. X